Sunday, July 29, 2012

All By Myself

As July comes to a close, I find myself once again in my house all alone. My parents who would normally be running the day to day operations of this household are vacation for the third time this month. I don't really hold this against them in any way, but it does seem to be causing some problems.
What I find most odd is that when my parents are around the house, I'm often trying to find opportunities to be alone so I can do things without having them question me about it. If there's one thing I fear, it's having to explain myself because I often don't have a good answer. And yet, with my parents gone, I find myself unable to do anything. I end up spend a lot of time just lying around the house.
A part of the problem is that with my parents gone, I feel overly responsible for the household. While I know I'm just being paranoid, I can never shake the feeling that some disaster will occur and I will be held responsible for it. This is especially pointless when you consider that my parents probably wouldn't hold me responsible for a break in, or a fire, or any of the improbable disasters I know won't happen but can't stop thinking about.
As a result of this paranoia, I feel tied down to the house. Like I can't go too far before I need to go back. Taking care of the family cat also plays at my mind, and so many other things out there. I'm pretty sure that when I get my own place, I'm going to make sure that it's an apartment with low maintenance requirements. No lawn to mow, now pets to care for (for a while anyway), and minimal cleaning. Again, I'm just being overly sensitive, and I know this. But until my parents get back, I'm not sure if I can be comfortable in my own house. At the very least, I can count on my cat not waking me up at odd hours in the night.

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